5.02.2009

Tail Tucked

We did a nice ride along the golf course again today. The plan had been to scout out and route from our apartment to Starbucks, but alas we missed the road. On our way back through we did do a quick jaunt up the road to check out how hilly it is. It may prove a formidable opponent for me although Llama seemed to take it in stride. I was proud to make it up the steepest of our hills, at a snail's pace of course, but whatever works. Unfortunately shortly after making it up the steepest part and crossing the railroad tracks I was startled by someone beeping behind me. A quick glance assured me that the anger was directed at a fellow motorist. This made me feel much better for about 3.5 seconds, at which point I felt my tires plop down into that weird cement area on the edge of the road. I'm assuming this particular part of the road serves as a type of gutter. It's only about a foot wide and though I can ride in there I don't like it. This time however I was already rattled by the honking and I tried to jerk out instead of waiting until the blacktop was not 2 inches higher than the cement. My front tire skidded sideways along the blacktop instead of up and over just as a car was passing. I ended up on my feet, astride the bike, in the traffic lane. Clearly I'm fine, but I was pretty rattled. So between that and the "killer" hill, I found myself nauseous yet again and pulling over to collect myself. Llama came back for me, gave me some water and moral support and then we walked up the sidewalk for several minutes. I gotta say, there is just not much that ruins a bike ride for me more than having to walk any stretch of it for any reason. It pisses me of and makes me feel like crap and basically destroys any and all self esteem I may have built up up to that point in the ride. So I ended up coming home feeling a bit like I had my tail between my legs. There's always the next time!

4.30.2009

Eye Candy

I can't explain it but there is a simple pleasure in seeing a beautiful old bicycle. A part of me thrills at the lasting power of a well built bike, and I get joy from seeing my beloved simple and efficient machine as it was years before I was born. The classic clean lines will suck me in for hours of browsing just for the simple pleasure of seeing another bike of yesteryear on my screen. Intellectually I enjoy the fact that these old bike have often outlasted some of their infantile cousins. I love to see the colors and the insignias, the trademark decals, and when I see a bike today in a condition where the original paint and logos are intact it sometimes makes my heart beat a little faster. The revered old brands that inherently carry a bit of honor through the years. I find myself wanting to buy more and more of these old beautiful bikes, just to have access to them.

In that spirit, I have decided to post some pictures here for the simple purpose of eye candy. I enjoy posting about rides and experiences and breakthroughs and thoughts, but again and again I find myself finding it semi monotonous to say "hey, today I rode my bike". I like sharing my thoughts and my trials, but sometimes, dammit, I just want to oggle some nice bike flesh. So I have taken the opportunity to do some scouring and find what, to me, is bike porn. I often find myself looking at a bike and then thinking, "What would that be like with X handlebars?" or "I wonder if that paint color is original?" And thus begins another little journey onto the "internets" to see what I can see.

Disclaimer: There's bound to be some disappointment all around as I'm not always going to take the time and energy to positively ID these bikes. I want to look at them not do a thesis on the history of bicycles. If the details are at hand I will include them, but this is not an attempt to catolog the bikes. That said, if you happen to be reading this post and you happen to have some latent bike knowledge please feel free to put it in the comments. That way we can all benefit from your knowledge! One last thing--these are not, for the most part, professional pictures. I'm just gathering some shots I've found lying about the vast world of the web.

Without further ado:

The dashing Peugeot.


The classic Chicago Schwinn.

The irristible Sears Austria.

Step-through 3 speed.

Schwinn Suburban.

Typhoon.

Peugeot.

Tiger.


4.16.2009

Eat it up

I never would have believe it but I actually had the urge to lift weights today. I wrote before that I abhor the gym and "working out" as an activity serparate from anything useful. But since I live in an apartment and not on the farm anymore, well there just isn't a boatload of things that need done that require physical activity. The biking has been great but we tend to do that on weekends. During the week we do yoga, walks, and even some Wii sports or fit. But reflecting on all the hours I poured into working out in the past, especially in college, I do remember fondly the wonderful "strong" feeling I always go from lifting weights. It never really seemed to help me lose or even manage my weight, but I did like feeling that ache in my muscles that reminded me I had used them. So without any other reason or explanation, I had the urge to lift some weights yesterday. Now granted I am much, much weaker than I was 5 or 8 years ago. But this time I didn't let that discourage me. I figure with my other success propelling me, this would be a good adjunct activity (at least for one night!). Though I tend to gravitate towards free weights, the machine offer much needed stability at this point. An hour and a half later I felt great about my (small) success of hitting most major muscle groups and proud that I had got off my ass. I guess it's true that "success begets success." The better I feel the better I want to feel the more I want to succeed which leads me to trying even harder the next go round.

Anyway, tonight I just wanted to do a quick post with some super easy and tasty recipes.
Oh these are potato-product/sugar free due to my potatoe allergy. But they are damn tasty and there's nothing like breakfast for dinner.

Pancakes:
1 egg
1 cup milk (rice, cow, whatever--I used creamline whole cow's milk)
2Tbsp oil (we used olive)
1 cup flour (unenriched--we used white whole wheat flour from King Arthur)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking powder (we substituted 1Tbsp corn starch + 1/4 tsp baking soda as baking powder affects my potato allergy)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp sea salt



Mix all ingredients well. We use 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Smother with real butter and some real maple syrup or...

Berry Sauce
1 cup raspberries
1 cup blueberries
1 cup blackberries
(I had two half bags mixed frozen blueberries, raspberries and strawberries and substituted. I'm sure any combinationg would be fine.)
1/2 cup sugar (I used 1/2 cup maple syrup).
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup cold water

In a saucepan, combine berries, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Bring to a boil. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and water, stirring until it dissolves. Add the cornstarch mixture to the fruit to thicken. Stir until smooth and simmer slowly for 2 to 3 minutes.



Let me know if you love this or hate it, if you would like to see more, or if you end up skipping over it.

4.12.2009

Beauty

This morning we did a quick 5.5ish mile ride on the road again. The ride was beautiful--60ish degrees, sunny, and the road was along a golf course community with a bike lane. The only difficulty with this ride is the road connecting us to the Preston community. We had to cross the railroad tracks again, took a left turn going downhill without a traffic light, and on the way back that road is one steep bitch for a short while. I wanted to share the beautiful pictures we took along the way. I might also post the recipe for pancakes that we used this morning as they were absolutely delicious!

Happy Easter to those of you who observe it.
Happy Sunday to everyone else!












4.11.2009

Road Ride Virgin No More

Did my first all road ride today. I was so nervous thinking about the ride and as we pulled up to the intersection to leave the apartment complex, I felt like I was at the top of a rollercoaster. My stomach was in knots and I was so jittery. The light changed and we pulled smoothly across the intersection. The first mile or so is downhill but it is also the highest traffic volume part of the ride and is the section with the smallest shoulder and riding room. As we began picking up speed my first thought was "shit, I hope my bike doesn't fall apart!" As we approached the first major intersection I was feeling a bit wobbly. I was having a hard time looking over my shoulder to assess traffic and we needed to turn left. Llama stepped in and smoothly merged with traffic and then singled and pulled into the left turn lane. I'm glad we had a green light as I had been worrying about the particular intersection since we decided to ride. We needed to turn left from one high volume road onto another and there are railraod tracks halfway through the turn. I had read about taking them headon so as to not wipe out by getting my tire stuck. Since the light was green when we reached it I had no time to think and worry over it and just plowed on through. A short distance later we made a right turn onto Church St which is has far fewer cars on it.

Church St was the first chance we had to relax and we both decided to pull over and get our breath and just calm down for a few minutes. We were both puffing pretty good at this point, but felt like the hardest and scariest part was behind us. Church St ended up being a bit more challenging then we imagined. It had a very slight grade. The kind that just slowly wears you down. Before too long I had to pull off and get water again. Quick sidenote: our wonderful "vintage" bikes do not have cages on them as yet. Truthfully I almost don't want to "sully" them. But it does need to take some priority as it is pretty damn inconvenient to have to sotp for drinks. Anyway, by this point I realized I wasn't going to make it the entire circuit we had planned, so we decided on a modified route and got back on the road. Our next intersection was another left hand turn and this time no turn lane and no turn arrow. It went very smoothly and before too long we had turned onto Town Hall which had been the least stressful in my mind pre-ride.

Town Hall was effortless. I don't know if it was the road being smoother or if there was a slight downgrade but it was effortless and took very little time. There was also a bit of a tailwind headed back home. There are two lanes going each direction which put me at ease as there was plenty of room for cars to go around. It was also nice because we were able to ride side by side and chat. Before long we were back at the railroad tracks and on the last leg of our ride. There is a "small" hill (which to me might as well have been the fucking Alps) and this is the section where there is a very small shoulder. I shifted down and plodded up and before long there is a slight levelling out. I took it slow and easy and when the grade increased again, I found myself clawing my gears for the granny gear. I made it as far up as I had wanted. The road widens just where it departs from the railroad tracks and there is a second lane and a sidewalk. I was shaking so badly I slowly made it to the sidewalk and crumpled off my bike. I stumbled up to where Llama was waiting with the water. We caught out breathe and decided to use the sidewalk to go the last 200 yards or so into the apartment complex.

When we reached our building I felt so excited to have a "real" ride under my belt. And I have a new appreciation for bike paths for leisurely rides and a new respect for roads. I feel exhausted and exhilarated. Oh and my legs are like jelly....

4.10.2009

1 month, 2 riffs and my Blue Beauty.

Today marks the one month mark since I quit smoking. Everyone keeps asking if it was hard and if I'm going crazy. I'm not and it wasn't. I truly believe that once I got my head in the right place, once I was mentally ready to quit, it was that easy. The first week I didn't know what to do with my spare time. I ended up cleaning and reorganizing a bunch of cupboards. Now it's not a big deal. It wasn't traumatic for me. I think the thing is this: I wanted to quit. Why on earth would I miss an activity I hated in the first place? Why should I be aching to get that wicked drug back into my life? Why should I miss it? I'm finally fucking free! And I feel excited about it every single time I think about it. I wanted to give a quick plug to the book I read that made it easier than anything for me to quit. I went from smoking a pack and a half (that's 30 cigarettes) on a good day to zero without a problem. I went from freaking out if I got down to only one pack left to having 7 packs sitting on my bookshelf for over a month and never even wanting to light one. So thank you Allen Carr:



I also purchased the remainder of my supplements the other day. I now need to reorganize the "medicine cabinet" so they actually all fit. And then I am going to tackle the spreadsheet needed to keep track of them all. Hopefully if things go well I will be off a lot of these within 6 months. I don't like "taking" anything, so the sooner the better. Other than that there's not much new on the health front.

I did go on a wonderful bike ride last weekend that I didn't post about. I wanted to share the route and give a quick blurb about it. We decided on a route that would let us start and end in the same park via different bikepaths. We also included some road riding on roads that had bike lanes. This was our first trial with riding on roads instead of paths and it was a lot of fun. It was exhilarating and a bit scary at the same time, but I am always amazed at how quickly the same ground is covered riding a bike vs walking. We did have a small maybe 1/2 mile section where the road was two lanes, no bike lane and we would be turning left at an intersection with no traffic light and I was not quite up to that, so I wussed out and used the sidewalk. I know--shame on me. But I figured I would rather that and live to ride again than take my inexperienced bicyclist life in my hands and never get another chance.



I do wanna riff on two things real quickly. Every single time we pass people walking on the "multiuse" trails, we call out "2 on your left". Several times, people thank us for the warning. I guess my riff is that I feel every bicyclist should extend this same courtesy to other trail users. In general we are travelling much faster and coming up on people much more from behind. I know that when we walk these trails, it is frightening and irritating to have a bicyclist go whizzing by and nearly knock you off your feet without so much as a "yo, I'm behind you". I feel like it would be a great thing for the bicycling community if this was standard practice. it's one of those ways to get more people "on our side" as it were instead of alienating them with rude behavior.

Riff #2. "multiuse trails". As denoted on the "biking/hiking" maps provided by our town there is no distinction between a hiking and a biking trail. They are both marked with the same color line. Of course, we didn't actually know this until we were rather lost several miles from our car looking for a trailhead to the "path" we saw on our map. This path was actually more like a deer trail for the first hundred feet off the road. But it took us about 20 minutes to actually find it as there was not even a sign posted indicating where it was. And I don't know if anyone else has ever attempted riding 30-50 year old road bikes on a gravel and dirt "path", but let's just say it wasn't fun. So our bike ride ended up having this long "bike/hike" section smack dab in the middle of it. Not a huge deal, but pretty inconvenient. And all it would take would be a simple ink difference to indicate this trail was not "bicycle" friendly. At least we weren't on rollerblades or something...


One last thing. I think I forgot to share that I got a "new" bike about 2 months ago. I got a Schwinn beauty and have absolutely enjoyed every second on her. Her 10 speeds make a lot of difference to a novice like me and make our rides feel a bit less intimidating. She is yet unnamed. I wanted a nice movie star from Chicago type of name, but a quick search failed to produce anything interesting and I ... lost interest. I call her "Blue" sometimes and it seems appropriate if not exactly inspired. So here are some pics of the Schwinn on her first ride and on our bike hike ride from this past weekend as well.

My "Blue Beauty" on the first ride--sheer joy!


Gorgeous-and look at all those speeds!


Tricky part of our ride where about 1/2 mile was paved, and then it turned back to gravel.


3.30.2009

Un"managable"

Ok, so it's been awhile since I updated here. When I originally thought of creating a blog, it was sorta to track my progress towards getting well. I thought I could focus on one aspect of that endeavor (bicycling), but I guess even I lost interest in hearing about me triumphing over a molehill every weekend. So for better or worse, here comes some further delving.

On December 29, 2008 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This was a shock for me even though I was told in 2005 I was "pre-diabetic". I was also told at that time I have PCOS or Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I mention this becuz PCOS is a hormone imbalance that made it very hard for me to lose weight by dieting and exercise. I was sent to a specialist who tweaked my medications and a nutritionist who tried to kill me out of the goodness of her heart. I was able to lose about 10-15 pounds numerous times between 05 and the present. And of course I gained it back every time. I was given several medications to control my hormones, to balance me so my body would respond. For 4 years I tried everything my Dr could come up with. Sure I got lazy and quite each of the "programs", sure I cheated on diets every now and then. Why wouldn't I? None of it worked. It was a catch-22--they said you have to lose weight so your body will work right. Oh and your body doesn't work right because you need to lose weight." Then last year, I developed this horrible pain in my upper abdomen. A few tests turned into CT scans and endoscopes. I had about 6 rounds of blood work where they would draw 4-5 vials of blood and do tons of tests. I was put on an extreme diet by a digestive healthcare specialist. I counted every gram of every substance that entered by body. I had graphs and charts that my partner helped me use to track everything. I stopped eating diary and red meat. I switched to soy products and ate salads. I tried to eat 40 grams of fiber a day. I took fiber supplements. I was finally given a strong pain killer for the abdominal pain. Not a single person could tell me what was wrong. After thousands of dollars worth of tests, after doing everything they told me, all they could say is "we don't know". And then my pain stopped. I don't know what it was to this day.

I said all that as a backdrop for how I have chosen to approach my diabetes. When my dr said those words "you have diabetes" I was filled with shame, with pain, with anger and remorse and bitterness. I felt like something should have worked. I felt like I had tried things and through a twist of shitty circumstances and my own lack of will power I had failed and now I had diabetes. I was mad at myself for letting it happen. And I vowed to find a different path to health. I started reading books about real food and about historic diets. I was taken with the work of Dr Weston A Price and his studies. I read a ton of books and in my head all of it started to gel and I started to think there was some sense to be found. I gradually finished the processed foods in my house and replaced them with unprocessed whole organic foods. My grocery bill sky-rocketed. My meal prep and cooking times grew exponentially. I'm blessed with a wonderful woman who takes care of me and she does the majority of planning menus and packs me a good lunch everyday. The same way she will cheer me up a little hill that seems like a mountain on my bike, she urges me to better myself in every area. I knew after just a few weeks of this changed eating lifestyle that I was not going to go back on medications and "manage" my disease. I felt that my diabetes was a product of my lifestyle and if I could just change my lifestyle perhaps my health would improve. I started searching for "holistic" doctors which was a total shot in the dark. I had no idea what I was even looking for, much less what I wanted to find. I only knew I wanted someone to help me heal myself. I was not going to end up one of those diabetics who "manage" their disease, taking my blood sugar 20 times a day and taking hundreds of dollars of pills that seem to make no difference. I started thinking about how many of my diabetic friends were not healing, they never got better than they were when they had been diagnosed. I wondered why no one was healing. These people were getting worse, getting heavier, losing limbs or feet, having eye trouble. I was not going to let that happen to me.

One day while listening to a talk show that I regularly listen on a podcast the host mentioned going to see his "naturopath". I quickly plugged that word into google and bam! I found what I was after. I struggled with the decision to see a naturopath. Not because I had no faith that it would be effective. But what if this person ended up telling me things that were as misleading as the traditional approach to diabetes? My coworkers (some of whom are nurses) told me I was crazy to not "manage" my diabetes. They told me of how dangerous, how I was being foolish and how I needed to start managing myself. They scared me, but I was not changing my mind. The worst that could happen is I could check it out and then end up going to my regular Dr after all. And then the circus started. Insurance of course will not pay for "nontraditional" practitioners. And I couldn't use my flexible spending account funds for any supplements or treatments prescribed. And I am not rich friends. But I was undeterred. I had gotten a shock a few weeks before making my appointment and I was not to be persuaded to change course now. The shock was this: on a smoking break at work I was sitting in my car and reading. When I got up to head back into work I noticed my heels were numb. And then I thought "my feet have been really numb and tingly for several weeks now actually". So I searched the internet and realized that I was experiencing neuropathy. That's nerve damage. From my blood sugar. This is one reason why diabetics end up getting limbs amputated.

I am 25 years old.

This is why I will not "manage" my disease. Can you imagine what might happen? How old would I be before I lost a foot? Before I lost my sight? Before I had some serious heart issue?

So all of that just because I wanted to write about my accomplishments since Christmastime. I have stopped eating processed foods. Yes it is much ore labor intensive to eat meals I have to think about preparing instead of boiling something and then mixing the flavor packet. yes it is more expensive. Yes it is inconvenient and sometimes I still want to grab some Chinese or Wendy's. I even tease that I would sell my left arm for a cookie. I love sweets. I miss cake and cookies and brownies. But I am not messing around. It was finally time to take control of myself. So here it is: I have cut out nearly all processed foods. I have cut out nearly all sweets. I have started eating real foods. I stopped drinking coffee. Well I guess I treat myself to an occasional Starbucks, but I used to drink 3-5 cups of coffee a day. With 3-5 teaspoons of sugar in each cup. I eat nearly no bread products. I cut my pasta meals which used to be a couple or several meals a week to maybe 1-2 times a month. I rarely have dessert and if I do it's likely some fruit or every now and then some coconut ice cream. I know these all sound like little things. This was my entire way of life. I have to shop at different stores. I have learned so much about food and have to learn something new every week. All my favorite easy convenient comforting meals are gone. My daily routines have all been disrupted. I used to get up and have a cup of coffee and a cigarette outside on the porch no matter how cold of hot it was outside. it was a quiet peaceful way of starting my day, watching the sky lighten, feeling the coffee warm me. It gave me several minutes to slowly wake up. No more routine. I had a cup of coffee and several cigarettes when I got home from work. I would sit on the porch and read and tune out everything and slowly transition from work to home. Routine gone. No more coffee.

Oh and no more cigarettes. I quit smoking. 3 weeks ago I quit smoking and my entire life felt like it was turned upside down. My little reason for escaping was gone. My frequent smoke breaks at work turned into "air breaks". I would still go outside and sit and read for a few minutes just to get away from my desk. After work I would feel lost. I would wander around my apartment and tidy here then rearrange there. I would reach for my cigarettes on the way out the door before realizing I don't smoke anymore. I would ask Llama if she wanted to have a smoke break after dinner--and only realize what I had said after she looked at me funny. I smoked for 8 years. Smoking is attached to nearly every memory from college and my "adult" life. And now it is not.

I have lost over 10 pounds without ever counting a calorie, gram, oz etc. I am full between meals. I don't snack anymore. I feel good about the time and energy that goes into preparing meals and planning what to buy each week. I try a new dish every week--sometimes they are horrible, but mostly they have been good.

I exercise. Clearly there is the biking, when the weather permits. I also go on very long walks. this weekend Llama and I went on a 2 hour walk. These walks are the perfect time to talk about things that are too heavy for weeknight chats. Planning the future, reflecting on where we've been and our common goals. I have even done exercises that I was never open to before--yoga, balance ball, etc.

Maybe most importantly I have been an example to my family. My parents have reevaluated their lifestyle and are trying to get healthy. My beautiful baby sister who suffers from migraines, vertigo, blackouts, etc was encouraged to try a more holistic approach to her health and has received key insights into her pain and sickness.

I feel for the first time in a very long time that I have taken control of my life. I started this blog to track that and got swept away by bicycles. I still hope to chronicle my biking adventures. But I guess I want to focus on my journey, not just the vehicle.

2.21.2009

Cyclist on a hill

Thursday was the only day we got out this week and that was only for a very short ride. I did manage to make it up a few hills which was encouraging. Today we set out for the longer section of the greenway. Before leaving, I made some adjustments to my seat. The last visit as the bike shop, James had said my seat might need to go down but only a smidge and it probably wasn't worth it. Well I heartily disagree. I put my seat UP nearly 3 inches before today's ride. I fiddled with several positions before settling, going up by very small increments and testing each time. When we finally got out on the trail, I felt like I was on a whole new bike! I felt so much more comfortable and noticed even the bike handling felt different. I was able to use my 3rd gear extensively when before I only used 3rd briefly on the downhill stretches.

I had several issues with my 2nd gear today. It was acting up towards the beginning of the ride, but after 10-15 minutes, it would not engage at all. Each attempt ended up with the pedals spinning furiously with no resistance. Good thing I could use 3rd because of my seat adjustment!

I was able to pedal along easily, feeling like I was using only a fraction of the energy I had been previously. Before long, we were approaching the hilly section of the trail. I pedaled my way up the first rise and felt the old familiar burning in my thighs. And it was then I realized the real hill was around the next corner! I was determined to get partway up before hopping off today. I shifted down and focused on the road 1/3 of the way up. I kept my pedaling steady and tried to think positively about making it to my goal. When I reached the spot I had mentally marked, I still had a good bit of steam left, so I focused further up the hill. Now my thighs decided to let me know they were not agreeing with my decision to keep going. When I reached this next spot, I didn't know if I could make it any further. I lowered my eyes to look just beyond my front tire and kept pushing. Llama starting cheering from behind that I had made it! I looked up and around and felt my excitement surge! I really did make it up the hill! I was panting and sweating and my thighs were screaming but I had made it the whole way up.

We stopped for water before enjoying the downhill, and not many minutes later we had reached the wooden walkways and the end of the trail. We stopped again so I could take some pictures and then started back.


Bernard in the wetlands.

Bernard by the long wooden walkway.

More wetlands.



Spokes-eye view of the stream.

I have always liked this decal--take the long way around.


My thighs were pretty worn out by this point, and after stopping for some more pictures of the wetlands by the trail, I realized that the cramping was still plaguing me. We continued much more slowly back towards the truck. I did have to walk up the final hill through the park to the truck. I don't know if I will ever make it up this hill. But today I conquered the biggest hill on the trail going both ways. And my ride was much more comfortable after adjusting the seat. I guess now it's a matter of getting the old thighs into shape...

From one small rise to another towards the far end of the trail.


Looking over the beaver pond area. We saw tons of wildlife today, which thrilled me, including 2 herons and many ducks and other waterfowl.



2.16.2009

7.5

Yesterday was a rest day, but we used the free time to scout out some new trails on foot. We have been trying to find trails that are long enough, but not too long, flat enough without too many giant hills and that are close enough we can get to them quickly. Thus far the Cary Greenway system has been just about perfect. Today we headed out to a new trail, the White Oak Creek Greenway.

The trail head is in a park and immediately gave us the choice of right or left. We tried right and discovered this part of the trail is a slight grade uphill. Also it was not very long. It meanders behind several housing communities and actually ends right up against a welcome center for one. After hoofing it up the final hill, we took a quick break and then mounted back up for the quick ride back down. This is one of the pros for hoofing it up the hills that are too much for me and my 3 speed, the joy of even a slight hill. It's always exhilarating and usually a smidge scary since my braking system is...shall we say lacking. This little hill made it a breeze and before long we were back at the trailhead we started on. We decided to go the opposite direction. This trail passes across several roads, none of which were too busy as they are in residential areas. Again the trail was relatively flat. After hearing several remarks and feeling the burn first hand in my thighs, I'm pretty sure my seat is a bit low. Basically my knees are hitting my arms every time I pedal. I also suspect it is adjusted a bit too far forward as I find myself constantly adjusting in order to keep the balls of my feet on the pedals.

After several more minutes, the trail begins to get a bit more woodsy. We stopped for a water break and (of course) pictures in an area that was pretty swampy/wetlands-ish. After a few minutes we decided to keep going. My thighs generally dictate the length of the ride, or rather my tolerance for pain in my thighs, I guess. The trail feel much more uphill at this point and rounding a corner we come to a rather formidible (for me) looking hill. Llama has by this point figured out the best way to use her 12 speeds to her advantage. Well, that and she's in much better shape than I am. I made it partway up the hill and the hopped off and puffed my way up to where Llama was waiting. The downhill was so fast my eyes were watering and as it was pretty cold today I felt like my tears were freezing onto my face. Man, was it fun to go flying down that hill!

By this point my thighs were basically screaming constantly so we decided we should turn back soon. And then I got distracted by what looked like a pretty long bridge. It was a raised wooden walkway and who can resist riding over that? Just as we reached the other side, we spot another up ahead--and I figured, well, what the hell it's just a little further. So we crossed that one. And then right ahead of us maybe 100 yards, it looks like the end of the trail. I had no idea we had come this far out. I had no intention of going this far. We went the extra yards just to complete the trail.

I was a little worried about making it back due to my aching thighs, but we got going and I just had to take my foot off the pedal and stretch my leg a lot more. Interestingly, it's usually only my right thigh that hurts constantly and intensely. After hiking up the big hill again, I was determined to use as much downhill momentum as possible to my advantage. I pedalled slowly a few times and then shifted up into my "high" gear--big number 3, watch out. By the bottom of the hill, my stupid right thigh hurt so much I wanted to cry, but I just whined a bit and tried to keep going. While I was still coasting, my gears decided to temporarily abandon me and the sudden lack or resistance almost sent me teeth first into my handlebars and that was a bit scary. So now, here I was, slowly cranking my way back to the truck thinking about how far it was and wanting to cry like a baby about my sore thigh. Llama, as always was encouraging, but this time she just went a bit ahead of me and left me to myself. I alternated with pedal, pedal, pedal, as hard as I could and then coasting and stretching my stupid leg. I did get off and walk maybe 100 yards before one of the road crossings, but mostly I just pedalled very slowly, occasionally whining out loud about my dumb leg. And then before I knew it we were back. I took several minutes, after loading the bikes, to stretch my legs and, boy, did that feel good.

As soon as we got back I was anxious to see how far we had gone. I felt longer than Black Creek. And wow was it. We went almost 7.5 miles today! I felt so good about seeing that number. Sure I wore out, but I went a lot further than we usually do. And I only walked up 2 little hills and a little bit before that road. Yes, I am tired and sore. Yes, I was mad at my leg for the last 1/4 of the ride. But 7.5 feels damn good. Now if I can just fix my seat...

2.14.2009

Introducing...Henri

Today was another great day to ride with the temps in the 50s and plenty of sunshine. We were both excited to get out on the trail with the new Peugeot (Henri) so we left early. We set off in the opposite direction of our usual route and stopped only once to get some pictures of the bikes.

Peugeot "Henri" on his first ride.

Henri & Bernard--Handsome Devils!

We then headed back past the trail entrance and headed towards the lake again, both planning on going only as far as the gazebo. There we stopped again for more pictures and water and a short rest.

Lake Crabtree from the gazebo.

Henri and Bernard taking a rest.

At this point the end of the trail was not much further so we decided to try and make it to the end. We made it with no problem, but shortly after starting back Llama's chain jumped off track and we had to stop. Part of the chain was jammed into the guard but it took only a few minutes to get it back on. My first roadside mini-repair! At this end of the trail there is a bit of a hill and going down it made me want to take my bike in to James to get it "set up" as he calls it. This would include fixing the rear wheel & spokes, updating the brake lines and fixing the pedals. Right now, my braking ability is very limited and I want it corrected so I can be a bit more daring on these little hills.

We stopped again for more pictures at the bottom of the hill as I think this is the most beautiful part of the trial. It passes not 3 feet from the lake at one point and is flat and only a foot or two above the water level.

Henri & Bernard--outdoor enthusiasts.

Black Creek Greenway.

My favorite shot, this is where the trail is closest to the lake.

Again as we neared the end of our ride, my thighs were getting pretty worn out. Usually the only way to alleviate the pain is to take my feet off the pedals and actually stretch my legs out. We've realized this direction of the path has a very slight uphill grade, but being a newbie and so far out of shape (I think my current shape is "blob") it really finishes off my muscles. The last part of the trail heads uphill into a park and I have no shame about getting off the bike and huffing my way up on foot. We think this is actually the hardest part of the whole ride--the walk uphill to the truck. A quick stop for Starbucks finished off our outing and it was pretty wonderful overall. I went a lot further today, and took breaks whenever I needed to so I wasn't in pain. Slow and steady makes the whole ride more pleasant...

2.13.2009

A Rush

Take 4 or 5 things that you have really been looking forward to or hoping for: think about what it would mean to get/have happen each one of these things. Now put them all into a 6 hour time block. That was my day and I'm a bit euphoric.

Having left work early today, the first thing on the agenda was getting the Sears (which I have named Bernard) to the shop. James was in again today and listened quietly while I pointed out the obvious problem and then swung my beloved Bernard up into his workstand. "This is not a problem" he stated as he grabbed his tools. Of course my little heart soared at this prognosis and I asked him why it had happened. He stated that he had not previously wanted to tighten the nut holding the wheel in place too much as this could cause it to sheer. He said depending on how much torque was applied to it while I was pedaling just the motion of pedaling could cause it to become misaligned. He explained that if it was in high gear at a point that I was starting out from a stop or near stop this could have caused it. And the light bulb went on! On Sunday right before the mishap, I had been in 3rd gear as the trail was a bit downhill. I came up behind a family with several children and some of them darted over to the left of the trail as I was about to pass. I braked hard and then had to wait a moment for bikers coming the opposite way to pass. Not 10 seconds after getting going again the problem arose. So I now understand the importance of shifting into a lower gear when appropriate. James also talked about making sure the gear is engaged and demonstrated several times how it is important with this type of bike to NOT pedal while shifting and to even pedal backwards slightly to engage the internal gears. So within minutes my bike (oh beautiful old bike) was ready to roll again.

Then the surprise. James asked if I wanted to see his Hercules which he had finished working on. Um, of course. So we go through to the back of the shop and he's grinning as he shows it to us. And then he asked if I would test ride it for him--he wanted me to tell him how it rode and if anything seemed amiss. I quickly objected and reminded him that I am not quite *cough* a bicycle expert. He said the bike was my size and he wanted an objective opinion. Of course I wanted to ride it, so I said sure. He joked that basically he wanted me to say his was better. So I got to take this glorious old Hercules out into the parking lot and ride around for several minutes. I felt like I was floating. And I even managed to notice that the front brake was rubbing slightly. Riding that bike was a real treat, let me tell you. It made me think about what wonderful machines bicycles are. It made me think about the simplicity and mechanical genius of a bicycle. And of course it made we really happy that I had found someone with a love of old bikes like myself. Oh, yeah, and James didn't charge me a penny to put Bernard back together again. He helped me make sure my seat was adjusted correctly and chatted a few minutes about selling his Hercules. Man, I wish I could buy that beautiful old thing. I am starting to realize that bicycles are addicting and it's extremely easy to want several. One last thing about getting Bernard fixed: Bernie--I'm sorry for hating your old soul the other night and I'm sorry for flirting with that new bicycle online.

There was still plenty of daylight left after we left the bike shop so we rushed home and grabbed the Huffy and set out for the trail. On the way, we actually discovered a small trail randomly so we decided to give it a shot. It ended up being a bit more than we newbies could handle. I ended up walking up two little hills, huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. Then at the top of the hill, we realized it was time for plan B. The hill was quite steep and, given that my brakes are not good at all and the Huffy only has coaster brakes, we turned back. The trip back to the truck was quick and easy. I actually don't think I pedaled at all on the way back. I did burn up my brakes a bit. We headed for the fateful trail where the mishap took place. This time was much better. The trail had far fewer people today and it was a nice fairly flat ride. There is a bit of a hill in one place and a bigger bit of a hill near the one end. I'll try and get some pictures up soon as this trail turns truly beautiful as it passes a lake. I got pretty worn out near the end of our ride, but Llama encouraged me and I really pushed myself to make it the whole way. My legs were on fire and I had to take them off the pedals and stretch them straight to get the pain to ease at all, but we took our time and I was proud I had made it the whole way.

You might think that all that makes for a pretty good biking day and I'd agree. But that's not all, folks. I happened to check craigslist check when we got back and spotted something I thought might be a good find. I contacted the seller via email and waited for a response, checking my email every few minutes. Not more than an hour had passed before I got a call and set up a meeting this very evening. I was determined to be discerning and not simply add another hunk of crap like the Huffy to my "stable" (every now and then I like to go into "cyclespeak" and pretend I know what I'm talking about). Llama was hesitant to go and didn't want to spend more money on another bike. I convinced her as the seller lived literally a mile and a half down the road.

So again of we went in the old truck, me resolving not to even consider it seriously if there were any problems. We met Jim and looked at the bike, me pretending I might actually be able to spot a problem. Well, I mean I know in general some things about bicycles and after the quick once over tried to be a bit more thorough, but I was getting excited. No rust, decals still in place, tires fine, brakes great, no frame cracks. Jim said he was selling it as his wife had just upgraded to a newer bike. This one they had had at least 15 years and it was older than than. The last and most important part was the test ride. I let Llama have at it as the intention was that this would replace the Huffy she has been graciously riding. She rode around a bit, fumbled with the gears and we decided to buy it. The moment we got that thing home she wanted to ride it some more. No matter that it was far past dark, she rode around the parking lot for about 15 minutes, getting used to the gears and enjoying the faster feel of a road bike after the relative torture of the Huffy (which is a one speed cruiser type with wide knobby tires).

When we finally got it inside I started looking over it closely. By this time, I was already suffering bike envy, but the more I looked it over, the greener I got. This bike is seriously sweet. I want another one. We looked it up on the internet and I got even more excited/jealous. The detail of the metal, the unique frame, the curved, but still straightish handlebars. It's beautiful. And I am so excited to get out again tomorrow and ride. I'll plan on taking several pictures of the new bike and posting them as well. We found this page, which seems to be the exact bike. Well, ours has no accessories, no lights or rack, no frame pump and ours is white. But check out the super cool frame. Let me know what you think of it:




Today was a cycling dream. The whole rollercoaster of emotions through the week was worth it for today. I'm still flying. It's almost like...well the rush of riding a bike.

2.12.2009

Grey Matter

So as I've said before, part of the obsession phase for me is reading every single thing about a given subject that I can get my hands on. So I have obviously been reading a bunch of books about bikes. Now first of, let me tell you, it is not so easy to find information about bicycles that doesn't have to do with racing or mountain biking or BMX bikes. I mean, it's not hard but it is a little more challenging. Since I'm not as interested in racing as I am in the utility aspect of biking, or even radonneuring or touring, I didn't want to read every biography and history of the the Tour de France and it's various winners. But, apparently these are the most popular and thus most accessible books to find. The local library has several books relating to this topic. I decided to get some of these and then dug a little deeper and found some other, more or less unknown (or at least un-marketed) books. Here's a little recap which I'll hope to add to over time:



It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life - Lance Armstrong
Ok I know. Could it be any more obvious that this was one of the first books that pops up on searches? But I figured it would at least have a human element to it and I was not disappointed. This book was moving. I teared up several times and actually cried a couple. There is something about the human spirit overcoming obstacles that speaks to us all. I'm not out to do a spoiler here, but suffice to say that this book was great. I had not thought about cycling as a job before reading this, onyl as a lifestyle or recreation. Next time I stumble across this, I'm grabbing a copy. It was uplifting.


Over the Hills: A Midlife Escape Across America by Bicycle - David Lamb
I'm not middle aged. I do, however, love a good travel story. This is just such a story. This book makes me want to say "Screw the rat race, screw the bills and obligations". What would happen if I set off across the country on my bike? Well, I would probably keel over dead before I hit the state line. But David Lamb doesn't. He constantly weaves bicycle lore and history (!) into the tale of his journey from Virginia to L.A. He paints with words beautiful portraits of the people he meets, showing their humanity. He exposes his doubts, his troubles and his triumphs. He rediscovers a faith in people and lives the definition of American-style freedom. This book will make you want to put it down, grab a bike and head out into the setting sun.



The Memory of Running: A Novel - Ron McLarty
Imagine a middle aged, balding, fat man. He is a manager in a toy factory, a Vietnam vet. He's a drunk. He's a lifelong bachelor whose parents are killed in a car wreck. A few days later, he gets a letter his sister has been located. She has been missing for over 2 decades. And she's finally turned up--in the morgue in Los Angeles. And now he's going to get her. On a bike. Smithy Ide is a first class loser. For a good part of the book, I didn't like him. But I found myself routing for him. This book can be a bit weird. It might make you uncomfortable in parts. Socially awkward scenes, death, psychosis, Vietnam. But this is the second time I've read this book and I liked it even more this time around. It's a story of beating personal demons, of the best and worst sides of people, of losing oneself and then finding onself again. It's a story of redemption.

2.11.2009

Bikeless in the Triangle

The Sears remains unfixed. I spent the daylight hours after work today going to look at a used bike--which I did not buy. But because I went to look, I also did not have any time to ride my one working bike, or to take in my one un-working bike. So yet again the repair has been put off. Yet again I'll put my hopes on tomorrow. And tonight I'm going to spend thinking about how nice it would be to have a new bike, a working bike, a bike that though not cheap does not require frequent trips to the bike doctor. And I'm going to look at such new bikes and drool excessively on my keyboard. And then I'll probably end up digging through closets and appraising every single thing in the apartment with an eagle eye and make elaborate schemes about selling each thing I see so I will have enough money to buy said new bike. And then I'm going to throw a mini-bikeless pity party and go to bed.


2.10.2009

The Reign of the Bike

As I accomplished nothing towards getting my Sears fixed, nor had time to ride tonight, I thought I would share this neat old article that I found in my random searching today. Make sure you click the "Next Page" link at the top to be able to read the end of the article as well.


http://cdl.library.cornell.edu/cgi-bin/moa/pageviewer?root=%2Fmoa%2Fcent%2Fcent0049%2F&tif=00314.TIF&cite=&coll=moa&frames=1&view=75


I love that the article calls the bicycle "the great leveler." Maybe we will one day be able to use bicycles for political persuasion. Maybe it will one day become a "necessity of life" to our country again! Here's hoping...

2.09.2009

A Pleasant Surprise, Right in My Backyard

Today had a different focus for the ride. The point was to make time for a short ride after work and before the sun went down. Instead of distance this ride is about working on my balance which is often harder to focus on out on a paved multi-use mostly straight trail. I don't even know if anyone else would call it a ride. It's basically about a mile around the apartment complex. But even though I expected to feel really stupid and like it wasn't worth it, the value of this little jaunt was obvious before too long.

I had to utilize the Huffy today as there was no time to take the Sears in to the shop. So I made quick adjustments to the seat height and off we went. First off, this bike is a lot higher than the Sears. A lot. The seat is still leaning forward but for such a short ride it wasn't too distracting. It took more time to feel out the one speed backward-pedaling type brakes. So lest I make this boring by prattling on, here's the gist of today's ride. I had to actually take corners which I haven't really done since, oh, probably 7 or 8 years ago. So that was interesting and (I'm not ashamed to say it) very exhilarating. I realized how unbalanced I am and that if nothing else this ride is good for perfecting my balance and stability. That can only come in handy later.

Also, though there wasn't too much going on I had my first taste of being aware of cars and traffic. There were only a few, but I definitely had to spend more time swiveling my head about and paying attention to everything around me. Also there were speed bumps and I know how silly it is to even mention those, but you put a porky kid on a 3 inch wide frame and with the bulk of the weight a least 3 feet off the ground and that speed bump takes on a whole different life. It was fun going over them even slowly, and again made me think more about balance.

Though this was just a short little ride, I could definitely feel my thighs wearing out from the very mild grades. The ride ends going up a bit more of a hill too so there's a bit of a challenge for me at the end. There were actually a lot of interesting aspects of this ride that I had not anticipated even a little bit. And since it takes very little time and is a short distance, it doesn't feel the least bit overwhelming and I may actually be able to maintain the motivation to do it each evening while there is little light after work.

I would say overall this little insignificant ride was a pleasant surprise. My muscles got a workout (as practically any small bit of exercise requires a good bit of effort), it was fun, and it stimulates other parts of my riding brain than a plain old trail. Perfect for now.

2.08.2009

An Upper Body Workout With a Bike

Another perfect day weather-wise and a new trail to explore. Today, we headed off for part of the local greenway system, which we have previously walked and know to be an easy trail. Our ride begins flawlessly and we are just zipping down the path. I decide to chance it with the gear system and to my astonishment and joy the Sears cooperates today and switches gears without a hitch. There a lovely warm breeze, the sun is out, the path is lightly shaded and I can't wait til we get down to the portion that passes the lake so I can snap some pictures. We slow down to pass some walkers and just as I get by my bike starts making a squealing noise and pedaling has become very difficult. I feel like I just shifted into 21st--except my bike has only 3 gears. Awesome.

So I hop of and begin looking it over, wanting to assess and fix quickly to get back on my way. Except, um, that's not going to happen. Because now my rear tire as become skewed somehow and is rubbing directly on the metal support. It's actually worn a smooth spot around the tire in the few seconds it took for me to realize something is wrong and hop off. So defeated I turn it around to head back to the truck. Oh, but wait. The wheel is actually not turning at all now. So I can either drag the bike along, or... pick it up. I can't tell you exactly how wonderful these is feeling right now. So I'm lifting the back end and wheeling the front end down the path. Then I alternate with actually carrying the bike. Humiliation and embarrassment don't even enter my mind as people pass staring.



Tire is rubbing on the bike frame itself and doesn't even turn at all at this point.

We had passed several access trails leading into neighborhoods and decide I should walk my bike up to one of those and wait for Llama to make her way back to the truck to come and get me. And bonus! The neighbor is sitting on top of an Everest-like "hill". So I can lug my "beloved" antique hunk of metal up the damn hill. Oh and of course the road I come out on doesn't actually connect to the road the truck is parked on. And I'm back who-the-hell-knows-where in this neighborhood. After asking 3 people for directions back to the road the truck is parked on, Llama finally goes off to get the truck via the bike path and come rescue me. My plan is to start walking out of the neighborhood so I can at least get to a road that connects to a main road. I finally give up lugging the damn bike and plunk it down by the road. I stand there smoking and thinking all sorts of unpleasant type things about my "great find" of a bike. Which is probably going to end up costing at least half the price of a brand new bike to get fixed. Which was clearly not the point of buying an old inexpensive bike. Not to mention my opportunity to have so much fun has been a little more than ruined. Yesterday I was the problem. Today it's the bike. So for now the grand adventures of a fat kid and her bike are paused. Maybe tomorrow the bike can go back to the shop and I can see hope much it will cost to fix it...again.

Oh but hey, there is a really cool positive side to the story. Usually bicyclists don't get enough upper body workouts. After lugging the bike a couple of miles today, I can definitely check that off my list until at least next week! Sweet!

2.07.2009

Expectations and Realizations

The beautiful Sears on it's first ride with me!

Finally, the weekend with it's wonderful and warm weather and loads of free time! We had both bikes ready to go and set off for the American Tobacco Trail (ATT) again. As we pulled into the parking area I saw dozens of bikers, most clad in their semi serious biking clothing, with snazzy looking bikes on their racks. I felt a moment's embarrassment when we roared through the parking lot with the old truck, our bicycles stacked on top of each other in the bed. We unloaded and spent a few minutes adjusting our helmets and checking to make sure we had out water and camera in the backpack. New items for the wishlist: saddlebags and handlebar bags and water bottle with cage.

We started out slowly, just sorta breezing down the trail, headed south. I was so excited to be riding the Sears! Before long the trail crosses a road and then another nice flat, straight stretch. We picked up speed and cruised along, yelling happy hellos to those we passed. Before too long another road crossing and just as we reach the other side, my pedals begin spinning with no resistance. I tried switching gears to no avail. I pulled it over and hopped off having absolutely no idea what was wrong. My first thought was that the chain popped. Nope. So I'm squatting on the edge of the trail spinning my pedal and thinking "um, nothing looks wrong." I tried switching the gears a few more times and sure enough there's suddenly resistance again. So I hop back on and we're off again. Since it was the first really nice day all week the trail had a lot of people on it walking, running, with dogs, with kids, bicycling, and horses. About 10 minutes later my pedals again have no resistance. By this point I had noticed the shifter looked a bit askance and that it was not exactly responding. I felt like it wouldn't shift down, and then a few minutes later would be stuck in the "down" position. Up until now the trail had been flat or even a very slight downhill grade. We crossed a bridge and suddenly it was not flat.

We slowly passed a mother with two kids just as the pulled over for a break. Not far up the trail, I had to take my first time-out. Water and a minute or two and I was good to go again. Not even 5 minutes up the trail, which has been noticeably uphill since we passed the family, I spot a bench and ask if we can plop for a few minutes as my thigh muscles are screaming. So we pull over again and I play around taking pictures for a few minutes. My thighs are still pretty sore after resting so we agree to walk a little ways up the grade. When we get back on, the trail is still climbing. Now I use the word "climbing" relatively here. I mean, it's probably like a 1 or 2% grade. I tough it out for a few more minutes, we cross a road, and still my thighs are on fire. At this point, the end of the trail is only 2.5 more miles. I had really wanted to get to the end of the trail. But I realized I would have to go all the way back to the truck and my legs were tuckered out. So we wisely turned around.

The Sears looking good on the trail.

Now every 5-7 minutes, my gears are not working. And I don't mean I can't shift. I mean the pedals will abruptly lose resistance and I fly forward from the momentum and my legs are churning like I'm sitting in a spinning class. Each time require me to get crafty with the gear switch and push and pull until whatever is screwed up clunks into place and I can propel myself again. Also, my thighs are basically in a constant state of pain. Not like, oh wow, I can feel my muscles a bit. More like, oh god, can you do permanent damage by continuing if your muscles feel like they are pulled and on fire with each revolution? After another quick rest, via my complaining about the pain, we start back towards the truck. I'm noticing now that this direction is not as easy as on the way out. Apparently the slight grade is no longer in our favor. I end up off the bike and walking again when my legs actually stop responding to my "go" commands. Llama decides to keep going and come back to me. So as I'm watching her go, I start having myself a little pity/bashing party. I'm pissed that I couldn't go as far as I wanted, and that my muscles are hurting so badly. I angry that I ever go so fat and out of shape. I think about all the sports I played in high school and how I could always play through the pain. That makes me even more upset that I am not "strong" enough mentally to push through my physical weaknesses. I'm embarrassed that I couldn't do better, couldn't reach my goal. I'm embarrassed that I had to walk up a slight grade and that I'm walking now. I'm embarrassed that with such little exertion I had to huff and puff my fat ass up the hill. I feel stupid about making Llama wait for me, take a thousand breaks. I angry that something is wrong with my bike. I'm hot and thirsty and the truck is still more than a mile down the trail. Finally, I get enough anger built up I use it to get back on the bike. There was no way I was going to take an hour to walk back to the truck. I wobbled off, slowly and immediately the burning feeling returns to my thighs. I'm barely going fast enough to stay upright, but I am damned determined to at least ride to the road crossing. At one point, only the thought of how long it would take to walk keeps me on the bike. Finally the road crossing comes into view and I feel my spirits lift slightly. It's not too much further to the truck.

I'm still embarrassed and angry but realize these emotions aren't exactly helping and are sorta ruining the experience. I know I need to lower my expectations at least slightly. I'm not 17 anymore. I am carrying around about 80-90 pounds more than I was in high school. I am no longer an athlete. I'm a fat slob. And I guess that's ok but it's hard to admit that I did this to myself, that I let myself get to this point. It's hard facing the cruel facts. It's hard to admit I'm not quite who I want to be. It's irritating to think of the amount of work needed to get even minimally back into shape. To add insult to injury, all my little fantasies about riding for causes and commuting to work are looking a lot less immediately tangible. But then I'm thinking--well I'm out here now. And I'm not doing great, but I won't do great until I at least do something for awhile. So I guess a slow start sucks but at least I'm not sitting on my fat ass at home. At least I'm putting forth an effort. And really it's not the pain that is so bothersome, but my inability to drive through it. My willpower is no longer strong enough to be the only fuel for my mass. But I didn't give up and I think it's ok to say "you know, I need to walk for a minute". As long as I get back on, I think that's just part of the journey.

Me still smiling at the end of the ride.

Today, I rode nearly 6 miles. I don't even remember the last time I went that far when not riding in a car. It's not as good as I wanted. But a hell of a lot better than nothing. And I guess not a shabby start. And the joy of being outside, of the wind and the sun on my face, of riding my treasured old bike, these are things that cannot be measured in miles, but in smiles. And already I can't wait until tomorrow...