I have long been interested in the simpler things in life, in self-sufficiency, and in the philosophy of a simple lifestyle. My attention is captured by "old" stuff--call it vintage, antique, retro, throwback, whatever. I am drawn to the quality with which old stuff is made, the simple forms, the imperfections, the efficient ability to preform a given task. Old radios, cameras, furniture, toys, kitchen gadgets, tools--it doesn't really matter. These things appeal to me on all levels. I can spend hours reading about the history, and the evolution of these things. These are the things my little sister tells me are "geeky"... and I sorta like that.
I like to learn--about societies, history, skills, lifestyles, religions, philosophies, geographies, nationalities. I'm the one who would rather turn on The Discovery Channel, National Geographic or The History Channel than American Idol or CSI or Grey's Anatomy. I go through these frenzied phases where I want to learn everything possible about a certain subject. Usually these last about a month or two and then I'm on to the next thing. I haven't tried to figure myself out on this one--I usually just go with it.
I have had up and down health for nearly 4 years. At least that's how long I have known about my health problems. They are myriad ranging from stupid lifestyle choices (smoking) to degenerative disease to syndromes to mystery symptoms that a team of doctors couldn't figure out but went away on it's own. I know I need to get healthy. I know I need to change my lifestyle and I know it needs to happen fast. I've known that since sometime in college. And nothing I have ever tried has been effective for more than a few months. Sure I've been lazy, but I've also had times where I've been disciplined, motivated (by fear and/or hope sometimes both at the same time), and determined. Now I hate "exercising" or "going to the gym" or "working out". I hate the idea of those words and those activities having to be some separate special part of my day that to which I "should" be dedicating my time and energy.
Somehow all of this has come together at this moment in my life. The geeky old stuff and the desire to learn, the nerdy kid who likes philosophy and the self-sufficient wanna-be, the broken body that needs healing and restoration yet rebels at traditional means. And this week all of that turned into something--maybe it's just a spark, but somehow the symmetry of it all, the unforced converging of all these separate pieces has touched something inside my mind and my soul at this moment in time.
This will be my space to discover, to appreciate, to vent frustration, and record triumphs. Perhaps nothing will come of it. Perhaps a month of two from now it will be just one of my phases. But to ignore it, to miss a chance to put it down somewhere outside of my head, that just doesn't feel right.
Oh and the quick story of what exactly has come together? Well my curiousity and desire to learn converged with one of my crazy obsessive moments when I clicked a link. I was admiring "old-fashioned" clothing and got to browsing and before I knew it I was down the rabbit hole. I spent hours reading, drooling over pictures of my new obsession. I lay awake at night thinking about the possibilities, picturing the beauty, imagining the freedom and remembering a sense of joy buried deep in my memory. I dove in and bought a beautiful beat up treasure that was old and immediately caught my eye. I knew I would have a lot to learn to restore my treasure to it's functionality, but that was part of the appeal. With this I would have time to think and ponder, would get a chance to experience some of that self-sufficiency that so appeals to me, would be able to immerse myself in the culture, and maybe even use it on my recently rediscovered path towards health.
No longer am I just a geeky, eccentric, nerdy, falling-apart-in-my-prime, fat kid...
Now I have a bike!
